I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
