OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
