u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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