I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
