Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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