Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
