If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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