Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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