It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
high people should be assigned attendants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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