Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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