why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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