Dual....:-)
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
