Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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