Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
please come you make the beer taste better
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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