haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
