Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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