It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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