i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude. I can hear the air.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
