I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
