i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize