i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
