do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
