U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
