very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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