Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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