He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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