Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize