so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize