dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
