So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
