Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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