I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Two words: blizzard sex
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
