i think i have herpe
just one?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
