google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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