oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
