just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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