Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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