8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
