Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
