This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
