Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
