Say something about gay babies.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
