Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
