There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
