I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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