what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
