Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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