five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
