I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just tell him i said nine months
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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