I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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