You really coming over, don't trick.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
