He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
