Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
