Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize