btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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