just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
