in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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