I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
