Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Pants are for mortals
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
