I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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