It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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