Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize