If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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