We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
