i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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