i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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