Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
